
So finally, after 7 months of schwarzfarhening*, the system got me too. It happened on a rainy Freitag, I was feeling kinda down and sorry for myself. One of those days when any illegal activity is highly unadvisable, remember, negative energy is highly contageous. But of course, live life to the fullest right? I didn't buy a ticket. And it happened on my favourite route as well! Just as the doors were about to shut at Warschauer Strasse and I was about to enjoy one of the best panoramic views of Berlin from the Watergate bridge (Oberbaumbrücke), two dodgy looking men walked in. Something in me skipped. I knew danger was in the air. And they pulled out their passes, like guns, and announced a bit louder than was needed, with complete unnecessary bravado, the search was on. Uh oh. Of course in my panicky state, my attempt at fumbling through my bag " searching" for my non-existent ticket was completely useless. And I cannot lie to save my life, so there was pretty much nothing else I could do but admit my crime, and try and swallow the embarrassment of being escorted off the train by these two weird looking men. They made the perfect couple by the way, shorty and fatso - a timeless classic. Ok, one final attempt to escape the inevitable - try to play the tourist. So I showed them my Cypriot passport and pretended like I was here on holiday. Yeah, sure, they probably heard that one a few times before, but my act was completely pathetic. Maybe if I was a better actor/liar, I'd have a chance. Monsieur Gaullier was definitely right, no use being an actor if you can't lie - if you don't really believe in what you play, who the hell will!?
So finally the myth of der Controllerman became a reality. 40 euros and all, I do consider myself quite lucky - this was the 2nd time I saw a real life controller, despite all the horror stories friends have been telling me about having been checked like 5 times a week. And the 1st wasn't even in the metro, but the tram, where escape is much easier. Of course, I am at an advantage, as my bike is my usual method of transport, so the probability of seeing one considerably decreases, but still, 7 months is quite an achievement.
What really did it for me though was the trip to the Penalty Office. They actually highlighted the walk of shame with big fat footsteps, bright yellow, with the big black BVG letters beaming like grinning faces, perfectly visible in all sorts of weather conditions. It's incredible, everywhere else the Germans are experts in the art of being subtle. Bright colours, standing out, making bold statements - big NO NOs, but when it comes to obiding the rules, they happily highlight them in the brightest of colours. As with all things Made in Germany, they hit the spot in the functions department this time too. The yellow footsteps definitely don't make you feel like the clever one.

*Schwarzfarhen = literal translation "back going".
Schwarzfahrer = Abusive term for those who travel without a valid ticket.
Of course this word exists in the German language.
Further Seeing:
Schwarzfahrer.
Oscaring winning short film by Pepe Danquant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFQXcv1k9OM
No comments:
Post a Comment