The Greenman Politiks.

The Germans never cross the road when the man is red. A small detail, which you wouldn't normally pay attention too, until you are stuck in the situation. It goes something like this... I stand at the crossing. There are no cars around for miles in site. I stare at the red man. I look around and everyone is waiting patiently. I try to out stare him, kind of hoping that if I focus all my energy he will turn green quicker. But nein. After a few seconds of stressing myself out in this manner, I give into temptation and cross. But the feeling isn't too good, I feel like I've broken some serious laws.

It's funny to observe how some people, the daring few, follow, once you've taken initial action. That can say a lot about people. Do they quitely grin to themselves afterwards, having done something naughty? I wonder. These guys are so subtle that you have to look extra hard to find that smile. But these trivial details can actually reveal a lot about culture.

In London, traffic light crossing is a completely different story. People just don't have the time to wait, even if they wanted to. Sprinting from A to B with Tesco's sandwich in one hand, Blackberry in the other, Londoners don't even have the time to sit down to eat their lunch. Or if they do, their companion is their beloved laptop. Sad.

In Russia things are even more extreme. Its war. The drivers find it fun hitting the gas pedal instead of the breaks when approaching pedestrian crossings, while the street-crossers get their kicks from jumping on the road the second the light turns red. If you ever visit, I suggest you use the underground crossings, especially in winter, when the roads are pretty much like ice rings.

The Germans on the other hand, stand and wait patiently. It seems like they have all the time in the world. And they don't question the law. Its kind of relaxing, handing over control. Red stop, green go, and you don't have to think much for yourself. Its all been drawn out for you. But nein. I just cannot do it. And it's not even because the opportunistic Londoner inside me cannot resist the temptation to disobey, but more the frustration that I am wasting my time waiting around. I got places to go, people to see, things to do, rush rush rush rush. And here I got this red dude, who is, I am sure, programmed to last much longer than normal, or that's what it feels like anyway, prohibiting me from crossing a completely empty street..! It's all a conspiracy.

But then I stop and think. Isn't that one of the major reasons I moved to this city? To get away from the chaos that is London? Precisely. Berlin is chill town, with an amazing beat. It's really not what I expected of a German town before I came here though.* When I thought Germany, I thought strict rules and regulations. But nein. People here can pretty much do whatever the hell they like. The did try to implement the smoking ban, but you can pretty much smoke everywhere still, eat your own food at bars and restaurants, drink your own beer. Clubs just don't close and you can get away riding the metro for free most of the time. At first it seems like no body cares. But after a close study of the behaviour at the traffic lights , I think I am starting to tune into Germanness.

They don't need the laws, the law comes from within. Its like they were born with a sense of correctness, so no need for external oppression, Big Brother style. People will buy the metro tickets anyway.

A slightly different case in London though. A no there is a no, and they will turn it into a big ban. No this, no that, and extortionate prices for half a cucumber wrapped in cling film. No wonder people disobey. It's quite ironic really, but its true; deny the people something and they want it more. They don't just drink, they get wasted.

No so many cocaine addict neurotics here thank god. And sure, maybe here people won't get as many things done, seal as many business deals (if you calculate the amount of seconds lost each day waiting for the man to turn green) but at least they are not stressing. And probably end up living longer as a result. It might take me a while to adjust, lawlessness and opportunism is just too tempting, but then so is relaxing. Maybe its a healthy alternative for the body and mind to wait for Mr. Green after all.

*Berlin is unlike any other German town however, so will have to travel around and get back to you on the traffic light situation there.

Epiphany on a Sunday.

Erlend Oye is a god. And I am not just saying that because his music rocks. You know all those positive energy and laws of attraction theories, the vibrating molecules that draw in positivity, harmonic auras or unexplained magnetic pulls, well when Erlend’s around they all suddenly make complete sense. Perhaps it is his calm composure and completely understated cool; quite tall, he appears permanently dazed and floating in blissful thoughts, or the oversized geek glasses* and stripes, which radiate a happy healthy glow that make him instantly likeable. Here is the complete antithesis of the pierced, studded tattoo freak and all round junkie rock star type, which your parents have nightmares about. This guy actually looks like he would be equally happy taking care of an old people’s home as he is performing. I want to give him a hug already and we haven’t even talked about his music.

His latest project, The Whitest Boy Alive, like pretty much most of his work, is not just another band that make great music and tour to promote their new stuff following the usual formula: come on stage- play to fans from elevated stage (or fenced off in extreme celebrity status cases)- let fans go wild by themselves- get off stage – go to private party. Oye and the boys actually get involved. They want to party with you. Clapping, dancing, singing, and rotating positions like in a volleyball match, they might stop to make a comment, or jump for a dance into the crowd. All loony as one another, these boys from the small town of Bergen in Norway don’t take themselves too seriously. Playing around like children in their bubble, it makes you wonder whether they’re actually having more fun than the crowd. The best part is that the bubble spreads.

When they came on stage, every little puzzle seemed to fit into place. And that’s not only because of Erlend’s voice. Yes, it is incredible. and the songs, and words flow extremely well making every bone in your body tingle. But this tingle is caused by so much more than that. It is the product of that highest level of harmony achieved when everything is in such a state of equilibrium that you don’t need drugs. When endorphins rush around your body just like that, through sound. It’s a simple formula – its pure and it works. Close to nirvana? Perhaps. But all I know is that finally I understand why people go to see gigs. Sure I went to plenty before but always left with a feeling of slight disappointment. Something along the lines of “I could have listened to them at home and not been crushed by thousands of people and spent loads of money.” I must have seen the light. Happiness is contagious.

* You could spot the dedicated fans easily in the appropriate oversized spectacles attire – a trend that has taken London by storm. Whether they are prescription pieces is highly doubtful, yet I wonder if Oye is the unassuming icon who started it all..

Brighton Shores.

This would not be possible in London.


You can never have too much sauce.


Red shoes hanging out on the beach.


The ex- pier. Now a piece of contemporary sculpture.